Name that Seinfeld Episode

One of the most inspiring pieces of art these eyes have ever seen.

Nathan Manire :: To buy, click here. 

Life's a garden, ya dig?

I've been busy celebrating the festivities with family and friends, hence why there haven't been many posts this week. Hopefully you've been doing the same.

Enjoy the time.

Seriously.

How to Get the Best Shave

For too long, I've seen too many guys with razor bumps and ingrown hairs bulging from their necks and thought, "ouch". It isn't as though these gentlemen are in a defined age range either. I remember years ago, a friend asked me how my face was always clean-shaven without having neck bumps. I told him I just started. We were both 25 and he didn't get my sense of humor. 

"Happy F*cking Holidays" from Banksy

He's getting into trouble [again] for vandalizing a sculpture of a priest, claiming, "this time of year it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse."

New Visual Project

World Awards American who Predicted European Economic Collapse. Huh?

USA Today – A winner of the Nobel prize in economics says that a decade ago he feared the euro would face problems because there wasn't enough fiscal coordination between countries to support it.

• 
  By STAN HONDA, AFP/Getty Images
  Christopher A. Sims of Princeton University and Thomas J. Sargent, left, of New York University, who share the 2011 Nobel Prize in economics speaking to the media on Oct. 10, 2011, at Princeton.

Enlarge

By STAN HONDA, AFP/Getty Images

Christopher A. Sims of Princeton University and Thomas J. Sargent, left, of New York University, who share the 2011 Nobel Prize in economics speaking to the media on Oct. 10, 2011, at Princeton.

Christopher Sims, who shares this year's $1.5 million award in economics with fellow American Thomas Sargent, said Wednesday that the European financial crisis was partly caused because the common European currency, now shared by 17 EU members, didn't have "clear fiscal backing" when it was created. 

Kate Upton in New 3 Stooges Movie

Martini Theory

"A great martini is like a woman's breast. One's not enough and three is too many."

-An Elder Gentleman at the bar a few nights ago

It made me think of that old action movie Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger and its prostitutes of the future:

 

Easier Eating

You get home from work. You're tired because you need to eat. Your cabinets and fridge are full of food, but none of it looks good. You contemplate ordering take-out, so you start looking-up places. Stop. Check out this website My Fridge Food first. First thing to do is turn off the annoying ad on the right-hand side of the screen because it has audio. My Fridge Food lets you enter in the ingredients you have at home, and it generates recipes for you in seconds. There is a simple menu, which looks like this:

And a highly elaborate menu, in which you can scroll through food groups in detail. Another great feature is the calorie max you can set if you're serious about your caloric intake. Hopefully, this takes some stress off you and helps you have a healthier holidays. Cheers!

*Thanks to Kristen for the heads-up

#Occupy the Right Place

USA Today – With some of its urban encampments closed by police and others under siege, the Occupy movement says it's opening a new front in its battle against big banks by moving poor people into empty, bank-owned foreclosed homes. The group staged what it termed "a national day of action" Tuesday to fight fraudulent lending practices and "illegal evictions by banks" — the institutions Occupiers blame for the nation's economic predicament. The group said its Occupy Our Homes effort also would try to disrupt auctions at which foreclosed properties are sold. [click link @ beginning for full story]

I'm fully support civil disobedience. It is one of the many liberties that make America a great country. It proved to be catalyst in the 1960's counter-culture movement. The "Occupy" protests are nothing like the well-planned, well organized, and, ironically, educated laden 1960's demonstrations; quite the opposite.

"12 Extremely Disappointing Facts about Music" [via Buzzfeed]

Creed has sold more records in the US than Jimi Hendrix

Ke$ha's "Tik-Tok" sold more copies than ANY Beatles single. 

Read the entire list here @ Buzzfeed.com

Earlier thoughts on shitty music and getting older

Are these sales because Steve Jobs ruined the music industry?

Less But Better :: Dieter Rams

Dieter Rams was the chief of design at Braun for over 35 years; and with good reason. This is short film by Andrew Birtchitt that relates to Rams' exhibit at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. He makes an interesting point around the 2:20-mark. 

"Less but better; that should be the main objective for the future."

Christmas Gift Guide :: Pt. II

(Turn on cliche christmas music) 

Part II of the Gift Guide focus' on gifts that are in everyone's budget without sacrificing the cool. If you missed Part I, Click Here.  Between the two, there is something here for every personality. If you can't find something on here, open up iTunes and buy them a gift-certificate; unoriginal bastard. As always, click the links below the photo to be taken to the product page. 

Bike Beer Holder $22 :: Leather. For the city-peddling socialite. 

Gear :: Get the Lowest Price

Download these Apps on your smartphone for free and start saving on gifts. With all the money you save, buy yourself that present you really want. Or, maybe buy something for that special someone who tells you about this cool stuff ;) Click the links to download via iTunes. Gift Guide, Part II debuts tomorrow. 

Price Check by Amazon: You can search for items with your voice or by taking a photo of things like books and DVDs. Price Check's layout is slightly more attractive than RedLaser's, though it's limited to the Web since it gives online-only results from Amazon.com and companies that sell through Amazon.com Inc. Price Check displays search results with the product at the top of the screen and three tabs that let you quickly scroll through prices, a description and user reviews. And if I found an item's price was lower online than in the store, it would be simple to buy it through the app.  The best part about Price Check is the abundance of product reviews. They're indispensable for looking up potential gifts and helping you think twice before making purchases.

RedLaser by eBay: great for finding items online and in nearby bricks-and-mortar stores. also includes a handy feature for making simple shopping lists, and a history feature that records all the items you've looked up, so you can go back and find things later on.

Knot-Making Sense

Words and Pictures by Andrew Snavely via Primer :: These days guys like variety in their ties. Different textures, different fabrics. Once abhorred by sartorialists, these days a guy wearing a narrow cotton tie looks great at his boss’s barbeque. A textured wool tie can take some of the Wall Street edge off of your suit for the office, and transition perfectly for a less casual atmosphere out on the town. The problem is, with the combination of skinnier ties and thicker fabrics, our old standby knots don’t give us the results we need. Here are two suggestions for skinnier ties. The Nicky and The Kelvin.

The Nicky Knot

A Letter to Urban Liar

"But what I didn't want to have happen, and I made this clear to [Florida AD] Jeremy Foley, if I am able to go coach, I want to coach at one place, the University of Florida. It would be a travesty, it would be ridiculous to all of a sudden come back and get the feeling back, get the health back, feel good again and then all of a sudden go throw some other colors on my shirt and go coach? I don't want to do that. I have too much love for this University and these players and for what we've built." - Urban Meyer announcing his retirement on 12/8/2010



Dear Urban,

I'm glad you're feeling better healthier. It must have been those 11 months you spent with the family. That's why you walked away right?

Christmas Gift Guide :: Pt I

Here is part one of my Christmas gift guide. I could say "Holiday", but I recently read that 94% of english-speaking (also see reading) people celebrate or acknowledge Christmas. If you're Jewish, try to get [at least] eight of these items. As always, click the links below the photos to go to the product's page.

Schott Zwiesel Bar Glasses because they look amazing and are almost indestructible. And because solo cups should be left in the parking lot.

Thanksgiving :: The Schedule

Click HERE to navigate Thanksgiving successfully. [via Esquire]

Thanksgiving:: What to Wear to the Table

On the fence about what to wear to Thanksgiving? This outfit should apply in most situations. Dress it up with a v-neck sweater or unstructured blazer (like corduroy or tweed). Stick to solid colors. Don't mix up a lot of different patterns either. That's overthinking it. Almost like writing a blog about thanksgiving wardrobes. Don't forget clean socks as your shoes will probably have to come off at some point. Have a Great Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family's characteristics, it's what made you...you :) 

[click links below for product]

NFL :: What to Watch the Rest of the Year

Playoffs?! Playoffs?! These teams are just trying to win a game and you want to talk about playoffs?!  Ok. Using win percentage, home and away records, offensive ranking, defensive ranking, and overall power rankings from a few sites, here are the remaining regular-season games that you need to pay attention to because of the playoff implications in regards to rankings in both [AFC/NFC] conferences. Do you have any idea how much time/planning I just saved you and how much of my time I waste on football devote to you?

Week 12: 

49ers @Ravens: The Harbough Brothers collide in a coaching duel that pits the 49ers perfect road record against the Raven's undefeated mark at home. Both teams are legitimately in the hunt to earn first-round bye-weeks and win their respective divisions. Will they meet again in the Super Bowl?
Bears @Raiders: The AFC West is still up for grabs and Raiders could win it, grabbing them a 4-spot in the AFC playoffs, Bears are trying to keep it together after losing [starting QB] Jay Cutler. Chicago was beginning to look like a contender before Cutler went down with a thumb injury. Can [former Mike Martz/Rams QB] Mark Bulger keep them afloat?

Week 13:
Chiefs @Bears: No Cutler means Da Bears lose two in a row, allowing the Lions to get in with the 6th seed, replacing the Bears in the NFC playoffs.

Brooklyn State of Mind

Some tasty places to visit in Williamsburg [Brooklyn, NY]: 

Teddy's Bar and Grill. 96 Berry Street (corner of Berry & N8) (718) 384-9787

Great brunch/Bloodies. Huge Portion of Huevos Ranchos, Perfectly seared Steak & Eggs, freshly ground Chicken Burger, and coconut-encrusted "Jamaican French Toast" with maple rum glaze. Plus other standard breakfast/lunch fare. 

Irish Philosophy

Have a Fantastic Weekend. 

Bruce Weber :: Intrvw via "The Talks"

Bruce Weber is an accomplished photographer whose work has been in every major magazine for over 20 years and, unfortunately, he's probably best known for shooting the Abercombie & Fitch Quarterly Magazines. Some equate it to soft porn, others defend it as art signifying typical adolescence. At least the guy is photographing them for legitimate publications and not showering with them in college football facilities. (Too soon?)  Check out his interview with The Talks here. He talks about his photo work, his movie studio and productions, and the many books that come out bearing his photos. Some of which you've probably seen on your friends coffee table and thought, "I love black and white pictures, they look so familiar..." Here's a quick taste of Weber's work:

 

Moving Forward :: Danny Toumarkine

When I lived in New Hampshire, Danny lived down the street from me. He is a really positive, genuinely nice dude who loved to snowboard. His effortless style won him a lot of accolades on the East Coast, and before I left he was working in a snowboard shop and planning on riding all-season out west to get bigger sponsorships and ride full-time. I heard about his accident through Facebook updates and a blog that his friends set up, dannyisthebomb.com. I can't wait to see the movie and I'm glad that Danny is on a board again. *With a helmet this time :)

*I know at least 4 people who severely hurt themselves because they didn't wear a helmet. They are/were all great skiiers and riders too. Wear one.

HD Earth :: Time Lapse from Space

wow. 

Hip to be [large] Square? Or Rectangle?

<--This is what I want! I'm looking for an affordable home rectangular ice cube tray. I remember reading about a swiss-made, silicone tray with four rectangles. It looked like one that new planting flowers come in. Yeah, that's the best analogy I could come up with, so don't act like you've never seen one. It looks like this, but with four deep grooves that produce rectangles:

This is by Tovolo and produces 2" squares for a rocks glass. It's cool because it's under $8, but I don't think it's anywhere close to the MUJI ice ball that I featured on here earlier. 

A good drink becomes great if it can stay cold without losing it's flavor. You don't drink it too fast for fear of dilution, nor do you have to wince and slug the last watery sips down just to get a fresh one. You're welcome :) 

11/19 :: Sun King @ Triad Theater, NYC

In New York City next weekend? Want to see a contemporary band play great, authentic, original rock music? Not that trendy hipster crap you get thrown on you while walking through the NYU section of the City, but musicians whose commitment to songwriting is evident by the diversity displayed in every track? [Singer/Guitarist] Andrew Seminara, [Drummer] Fred Carleton, [Bassist] Keith Valcourt, and [Lead Guitar/Piano] Justin Pilat are extremely talented. I should know. I've been watching them play since we were 10 or 11 years old. Seminara's studies at Berklee School of Music show his adoration of songwriting from the late 50's through late 70's without ignoring the popular new sounds of successful acts like NY's own The Strokes. Carleton's time at Dartmouth College lent itself balancing between the acid jazz and southern-rock/jam music scenes. They later combined with Valcourt and Pilat, both involved in multiple projects around the Boston rock scene to form Sun King. Carleton's drum virtuosity, combined with Valcourt's thunderously proficient bass lines form a rhythm section that allows Pilat to sonically explore his guitar proficiency within Seminara's well-crafted arrangements. Their work was recently praised by Scorch (Rock 101 WGIR, PFG-TV) as "The best music I have truly heard in a long, long time!" Check out a few of their songs at the bottom of the page. Details from their website:

Sun King is pleased to announce on Saturday, November 19th we will be playing a show at the Triad Theater in New York City! The Triad is a recently refurbished 130 seat colonial style theater located at West 72nd street between Amsterdam and Columbus Avenues. The show goes from 10:30-12:30 and will feature songs from both The Elephant Upstairs and The Curve of the Earth as well as some old classic favorites. Tickets are $12 and can be purchased at the door as well as online. *Also please note there is a two drink minimum at the Triad.

12 bucks for a sick 2-hours of music in the Upper West Side. See you there.

Fall Thoughts

Fall in New England is unpredictable. 65-degrees and gorgeous one day, 38-degrees with 40mph winds the next. That isn't hyperbole either, it actually happened last week. Some of the good:

Taken w/ my iPhone! That's how nice it was outside.

Lao Tzu

"Fill your bowl to the brim

and it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife

and it will blunt.

Chase after money and security

and your heart will never unclench.

Care about people’s approval

and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.

The only path to serenity."

Translated by Stephen Mitchell (via mnml)

Nick Wooster

When it comes to style, dude knows what's up.

"There's so much great stuff at every price. But the problem is that so many people spend so much money unnecessarily because they're insecure about things. They feel that if they spend thousands of dollars on something they're somehow going to be better dressed. When the reality is, you don't have to spend billions of dollars on things in order to be well-dressed. It has to come from inside." -Nick Wooster via GQ, read it here.

Steve Jobs :: 1955-2011

'

Jobs, after his last keynote, WWDC 2011, leaning against his wife. (Via MinimalMac)

"Remembering that i'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever enountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything; all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." -Steve Jobs

Genius. It's a word that gets used a lot. Music, Art, Literature, etc. but make no mistake about it, Steve Jobs was one. Upon hearing the news of his death, I shook my head in silence for about a minute. The guy had pancreatic cancer, which, sorry to be cynical, is pretty much a death sentence. We all knew this day would come, but the expectation doesn't make things easier. It just conjures up a lot of feelings I have about cancer. I've watched friends battle it before they could legally drink. I've watched it take family members who had so much life to still live. Cancer doesn't discriminate. It's claimed another victim. This time, one who we'll remember every time we turn on a computer, make a phone call, turn on a heated seat, or swipe a credit card at a gas station (yup, Jobs had a lot more than just computer patents, over 300 actually). Steve's genius is all around us, helping make our lives easier and more enjoyable, because he wasn't scared. He didn't listen to naysayers, didn't follow the status quo, and had the audacity to think differently and remind us to do the same.

Thank you, Steve. Not just for your products, but for your outlook, courage, and attitude right up until the end. It reminds me of an asian proverb interpreted as, "A lifestyle is what you pay for; a life is what pays you." We all knew Steve Jobs was one of the richest men in the world. His life taught us it's because he never measured it in dollars and cents.

The Area Code Evaluation System

Sick of guys and girls overhearing you while you judge them? Me too. The basic 1-10 thing is boring. So is calling out the number of drinks it would take to engage that certain someone. So what do we, as long as we're not registered republicans, do? We evolve, baby! Welcome to the area code evaluation system. Three numbers: First one is face (judged 1-9, 9 being the highest), then the fornication factor (1 for yes, 0 for no), lastly body (1-9, same as face). It's comprehensive and inconspicuous. Por ejemplo:

Marisa Miller: 919

Adele: 501

Chastity vs. Chaz Bono: Chastity 302. Chaz 402?

David Guest/Liza Minelli wedding party: 107s all around. Liz Taylor gets a 102.

Thanks P-Dubs for the inspiration ;)

Sex vs. Professionalism :: Who ya got?

I got a massage while on vacation. Trips to the parlor are always interesting. I feel like using the word parlor is super sketchy, too. It just gives the impression that the phrase "happy ending" is included. Not so in this case, sadly. My buddy had a spot on South Beach that he swore by. Before I digress, I want to state, for the record, that we were in separate rooms and no cialis-type bathtubs were harmed during our trip to the parlor.
My friend had set up appointments with two female masseuses. We arrived, got some water, and waited to see our rubdown rewards. Two females. Well, one and half. One was typical for Miami: Latin, dark skinned, voluptuous, and a sexy accent. The other was tall, huge frame, maybe of eastern-european descent, and could've competed for a job on the Dolphins offensive line.
They walk out, open two doors, and say, "whenever you're ready gentlemen."
My buddy jumps off the couch like he's getting timed in the 40-yard dash and beelines it into the Latin's room. I look around for shoulder-pads and think about how I'm going to avoid getting sacked. I smile and walk sheepishly into Helga's room.
Fast forward an hour.  My kinks are out. Olga's man-hands were magical. My buddy claims he was fighting a chub the whole time and couldn't really relax, counteracting the whole goal of a massage. I brought up Seinfeld, specifically when the Yankee's feel George needs a secretary. He decides to ignore all the male instincts in his brain and hire based on professionalism over sexuality. I thanked my buddy for being a typical pig and making the mistake 99% of us would've made. Sometimes it pays to be a little slow :)

Sunglasses :: Warby Parker

Before landing in Miami, i needed some new sunglasses. They're probably the most important accessorry one can own in the Magic City. I like a new brand with a good story. I also want a high quality product that looks good, too. Warby Parker, named by combining two Jack Kerouac character names, nails everything. They started as a perscription sunglass outlet, but now produce some of the highest quality polarized sunglasses for everyone, no prescription required! The best part? They're under a $100 with free shipping, home try-ons, and returns! ZZ Top won't write a song about them, but I feel like they should. I'll upload some pics when my iPad feels like cooperating.

Get Ready!

Gearing up to go back to where it all started.

Miami.

Starting Wednesday...

Mr. Rager Official Music Video :: Kid Cudi

I love all kinds of music. If you see my twitter  , you know I could be watching Phish live online one night, preview the new Jay-Z/Kanye later, listen to the Strokes in my car, watch a documentary on Bob Dylan, and go to sleep listening to Miles Davis. Music is more rewarding the more you invest in it. I saw this video yesterday and thought, "This is music video. This, aesthetically, keeps my attention for 5-plus minutes and has a big-budget, dramatic feel to it. It has choreography, allbeit simple & generic. The endings are predictable, but it's a music video in the new millennium, so I let that slide. The leather jacket reminds me of 'Thiller' with the patch-work. Kid is killin' that!"

I listened to this song a lot this summer because I thought the tick-tock beat was sick. Turns out the video might be just as good. Who would've thought in 2011? Watch it on full screen.


Turns out Tom Brady Came out with a new video too: an ad for Uggs. I'm ashamed of this and I don't even know the guy. But, although I am a huge fan, I have to take off my New England hat and call this what it really is; fuckin atrocious! I like the decision for Mos Def for background music, but that's where it ends. You want me to believe that Tom runs around California all day in different Uggs? It's disgusting. And the weird looks towards the camera make me think Tom watched Zoolander before they started recording. When you're the MVP of the league the previous year you get some leeway, but you need to get on the super bowl ship again to star in ads like this. At least there wasn't a goat involved this time.


Have a great weekend! ;)

PUMA x Undefeated :: Nylon Ripstop "Clydes"

The newest edition to Puma’s collaboration with Undefeated is a set of Nylon Ripstop Clydes (NRC’s) that hit stores this Saturday, September 10th. This simple military twist to the PUMA Clyde comes in four wearable colors for fall.

I love Puma. These mesh that classic Clyde design with some great material for Fall/Winter, especially with all the rain the Northeast has been getting. 

For a little more insight into the NRC read the Q&A with Eddie Cruz of Undefeated below:

Q. Can you tell us about the design inspiration behind the latest drop in the PUMA x Undefeated collaboration?
A. Military gear has been seeing a revival for the past couple of seasons; we wanted to build on this and looked to military inspired fabrics to transform the Clyde. The NRC’s are made from a high-quality Ripstop material.

Q. What design challenges did you run into with the NRC’s?
A. It actually went pretty smooth. The first samples came out a little shiny, but were corrected by using a matted Nylon Ripstop instead. We are very happy with the end results. I think our mission was accomplished with this Clyde. It’s simple, wearable and it has a twist

Q. How do you feel this drop compares to the first two releases in the PUMA x Undefeated Collection – The Stripe-Off Clydes and The Cali Canvas Clydes?
A. There’s no comparison at all. Since it’s a collection, we wanted to make sure we did something different for every drop, while still keeping it cohesive, especially since we’re only working with one style – The Clyde.

Q. How do you feel these Clydes fit into other fall trends you are seeing in the marketplace?
A. Aside from the pearl white, we went with darker colors that fit right in. Olive, Navy and Black. Most importantly, people love breaking out their technical jackets in the fall. This Clyde is definitely complimented by a nice technical waterproof jacket.

[via Highsnobiety]

Turning NFL Misfortune into Personal Fortune

The Worst Eight Teams in the NFL are listed below. Take advantage of their misfortune in the first 6-8 weeks of the season and build yourself a nice bankroll. I always feel like after week 6 the books get real sharp. It's dangerous to hang around after that, but if you get a good read on these teams early, you might be able to get some great value after week 6 when the books start giving these underdogs insane amounts of points.

Let's go through the failure alphabetically:

Even w/ a money last name
it'll be hard to win for Fitz

Buffalo Bills- No ownership, no money, no consistency, no coaches, barely any players, bad stadium, worse weather. Play in a division with the Patriots and Jets. Also play the NFC-East this year, meaning they could have a decent team and still lose 8 games with ease. They still haven't figured out that in order to have success in the NFL, you have to have a solid Quarterback. Fortunately for Bills fans, there are about 12 other teams that share their incompetence at fielding the position. Maybe the Bills "Suck to get [Andrew] Luck," throwing their season down the drain in an attempt to draft the #1 QB in college. While it might be hard to back a team you think "might win", it's fun to go against a team that you know are masters of futility. This team needs a new owner and new location to have success. I need a new house and I needed it yesterday. Let's start the insanity!

1st of many oblivious stares
while putting up 6.
For the other team. 

Chicago Bears- Yeah, they were in the NFC title game last year, but they were 7-3 in games decided by less than 7 points too. Three of those wins came against teams who were forced to use their 3rd-string QB! This won't happen again. Jay Cutler was sixth in the league in interceptions with 16 and led the league by taking 52 sacks! At least 6 members of the D are going to be over 30 this year. They just picked up Patriots cast-off Brandon Merriweather b/c they have no depth in their scondary. OH! and the NFL took away Chicago's "Devin Hester playmaking ability" (25.4 yds a kick return) and field positioning by basically eliminating kick returns. It's ok Chicago, at least you'll have the weather.

Cincinnati Bengals- uh, it's Cincy? They're nicknamed the Bungals? Last time they drafted a QB, his name was Carson Palmer. He'd just won the Heisman Trophy for then-powerhouse USC. They didn't start him as a rookie because you don't start rookie QBs unless you're fucking desperate. This year, Cincy is starting rookie Andy Dalton because he went to TCU and didn't win the Heisman. At least they can lean on the run game and Cedric Benson, when he's not in jail. The proverbial jury is deciding when he'll be back. They didn't re-sign [DB] Jonathan Joseph because he was their best defensive player and costs money. Who needs the guy when your defense gets to the opposing QB on only 5% of passing plays? But they did extended [coach] Marvin Lewis' contract because his tenure has been so stellar there. Can I apply for the Cincinnati GM position after writing that paragraph?

Jacksonville Jaguars- Worse defense than Cincy's when it comes to getting to the QB (4.5%), have spent the last few years botching one draft after another, and have been worse in free agency. They gave up 2 draft picks to move up and overpay acquire QB Blaine Gabbert (see also: Andy Dalton, Cincy Bengals) to replace David Garrard, the only player (besides Maurice Jones-Drew) who performs with any type of consistency. I'm not saying he's in the upper echelon of QBs, but he completed 65% of his passes last year, which is a lot better than some of the other teams on this list. Didn't matter, the Jags said, "screw it" and cut Garrard (to save $9m) only to announce they will start......Luke McCown. Wait, what? The Jags were 8-8 last year, 5-2 in games decided by a touchdown or less, and one of those games was the "Hail Mary" catch as time expired. You have to go against them. It's science.

Miami Dolphins- Not a horrible team, but the NFL is a quarterback league. Notice a trend with all the aforementioned squads on the list? Well, Miami starts [QB] Chad Henne, who doesn't have the backfield of Ronnie Brown and "Sticky" Ricky Williams that he used to lean on.  The Dolphins play the Patriots, Texans, Browns, Chargers, and Jets in the first five weeks. Their misfortune in the first 5 weeks could pay off the rest of your mortgage if the numbers are right. Then you could sell your house to [Dolphin's Coach] Tony Sparano. He'll be looking for a new one by then.

Seattle Seahawks- A team that made the playoffs last year with a losing record of 7-9 despite [statistically] playing the easiest schedule last year! They played two games within a touchdown or less, and won both of them. They also got outscored by 97 points in the other 14 games. Not a model of consistency. So corrupt savior coach Pete Carroll does what any coach would do, he rebuilds. Who he'd start the rebuilding process with in order to stabilize the birds? Quarterback Tavaris Jackson, of course! Nothing says winning like signing a guy who has 24 Touchdowns, 22 interceptions, looks to scramble at the first sign of pressure, and lost his job because his previous employers talked a retired, gray-bearded, pill-addicted, wrangler-hawking, sideline reporter-sexting attention whore to come play QB for the year. How'd that work out for you Minnesota?!?!?!?! (don't click that link if you like "brettfavre") Of course, Pete Carroll aka "California Clueless", might just be tanking the season on purpose in a attempt to draft Andrew Luck. That'd be stupid like a fox. Might as well cash in on it. I wouldn't be surprised if Pete were betting the games himself in an attempt to pay off USC so he could show his face around campus again.

Tennessee Titans- New head coach Mike Munchak has no coaching experience, not even as a coordinator (see also: Singletary, Mike "Can't do it!"). Offensive coordinator Chris Palmer is known throughout the league, unfortunately for the wrong reasons: his offensive schemes are terrible. They're starting Matt Hasselbeck at quarterback. The only thing funnier is the reasoning. Hasselbeck will serve as a mentor to [rookie QB] Jake Locker, a guy who has a cannon for an arm, except he doesn't know where the ball is going. That's a recipe for NFL success [see also: Russell, Jamarcus; Boller, Kyle; and Leaf, Ryan]

Washington Redskins- 12 games decided by less than a touchdown with a 6-6 record in those games. Unfortunately in the other four games, they were outscored by 81 points! Owner Daniel Snyder is still spending shitloads of money. On the wrong people. In a [NFC-East] division where the other three teams do it better and with a lot more consistency. 'Skins fans thought Donovan McNabb was bad? Ladies and Gentlemen of the greater DC area, welcome to the Rex Grossman era!

How do I feel about the start of the season? Press Play!

Fall in...

Fall is the best. The sports, the weather, and the clothes. While Fall for most of us means back to school, back to work, etc, for the unfortunate who got rocked by hurricane Irene, it means cold weather on the horizon and putting life back together. Believe me, I have some friends in Vermont who lost almost every material possession.

2 advocates of clean closets

So if you're going to be enjoying some new Fall/Winter clothes this season, what better way to help some people out and kill two birds with one stone then to donate all the clothes you don't wear to people who need them? Go through your drawers and closets, look over your inventory, and if you hesitate on whether or not you still wear something, chances are you probably don't. Put in the bag, baby!

I did it over the weekend and it's nice to have some space. Plus, it gives you perspective on things, material and otherwise.

Click to find your nearest Goodwill or Salvation Army 

A Vintage Look on Technology

I was looking Etsy the other day.  It's an online community where people can buy/sell handmade & vintage supplies. I came across Yellow Glue Blues, cool store that sells iPhone and iPad amplification systems made out of wood! They're tasteful, unique, and less obtrusive looking than the Jetsons-type speaker system that's clogging your shelf/countertop. Click on the links to see more designs.

Koostik is another company that specializes in aesthetically pleasing amplification. Check 'em out!

(Bonus points if you knew it was "Take Five" by Dave Brubeck!)

And they have one for the night stand:


Of course, if you don't feel like spending the money, you can always fall back on this trusty tip I shared a few weeks ago! Either way, just don't listen to the sounds of silence, literally or figuratively.

Baller 3 year-old

What the hell do you call your brother in law's...brother? When they come up with that terminology, I'll utilize it. Whatever you call him, he's in Argentina doing some wine research. Obviously I'll keep you informed on his findings. It all starts with the people. Here is Matteo, a three year-old who packs a knife! (Waistband in right pic). Love his get-up and attitude. Viva Malbec!