Kids Say the Darnedest Things

"I wanna touch clouds"

-5 Year Old Boy with his Mom yesterday walking by me

I hear you, bro. 

Chill Out, Lance!

I get it. You want to stay in shape. You want to experience the outdoors in a new light or maybe your doctor suggested it. The summer is a great time for it, that's cool.

But if you're going to be an asshole about riding your bike, stay the fuck out of my way. They have trails, they have bike paths, and they have roads without traffic. Use them! I'm sick of swerving around you because you think "share the road" means you can ride in 3-wide packs. Wouldn't riding in-line help you with "drafting" as well?  Act like you know what you're doing.

I'm not hating on bike-riding. I loved it when I was 10 years old. I never wore skin tight outifts like I was in stage 5 through the Alps.  "It's technical wear," you say?  Fine, but you look like an idiot. I'm pretty sure you could walk into a mini-mart in any sporting apparel/uniform and not get a second look, except if you're wearing your "cycling" get-up. P.s. the pad on your ass that protects your prostate looks like a deuce in your shorts.

Speaking of which, why do you want to participate in something that puts your junk at risk?

Bitch all you want about the "share the road" tomfoolery, but remember that you adhere to the same rules as cars. So stop swaying all over the place on busy roads, don't bomb through intersections, and stay in a line instead of taking up the entire lane in a pack. There isn't any dude on a motorcycle filming you. YOU'RE NOT SPONSORED.

Entourage :: Season 8 Premiere

"It all Begins and Ends with your Friends- Season 8"

Lame.  The first word that came to mind when the credits rolled at the end of the show last night.  

Season 8 throws us into the middle of turmoil everywhere. E & Sloan are done, Turtle hints at dumping Alex when she gets home from the Avion Tour, Sober Vince actually reminded me that Adrian Grenier is a shitty actor, and Ari finds out that Ms. Ari is 'seeing someone'.  Even Drama's standard one-liners seemed forced last night. 

The Ari storyline might actually be the most compelling. So much so that one of my buddies remarked, "I can't believe I feel bad for Ari, especially 'cause he's such a prick."  Yes, I watch Entourage with a group of friends every Sunday.

The worst part of last night was definitely the Vince "getting out of rehab" scene.  I don't care how famous an actor is, there aren't going to be frat houses of guys outside cheering and no one would be holding up 'winning' signs.  Actually, the most believable part might have been the girl running next to the Escalade flashing the crew. 

I like the dynamic between Scott, E, and their new business. Scott Caan actually had the best lines last night, possessing the quick delivery and sarcastic bite that made the first two seasons so good.

One of the tag lines for the show was, "maybe you can have it all".  Last night's vibe was more "maybe you can lose it all".  Either way, I don't know if I want to be a part of this new Entourage. 

Fail

Hope you're having a better weekend than this guy.

Shut Up! Double Standards and Whores.

Nordegren/Dingman

Gather-  Elin Nordegren, long-suffering ex of philandering golf legend, Tiger Woods, has reportedly laid down the law to her billionaire boyfriend, Jamie Dingman. The gorgeous Swedish blonde refuses to have sex with Dingman until she can be "sure of his intentions." Whatever that means. And, believe it or not, Dingman has agreed to it. 


"Long-suffering" Elin?  Bullshit!  You are the daughter of swedish diplomats.  You were a part-time model turned 'nanny' for PGA Tour Players before catching Tiger with your tail. You got the biggest settlement amount in the history of sports/celebrity with a rumored $750 million dollars.

Now you're dating Jamie Dingman, a big-swingin' New York dick.  Guy plays in the market for his dad's firm and you're going to show him who's boss? You go girl!

When Gold-Diggers Collide:
Uchitel/Nordegren

Wait, wait, wait.  This just in:  Mr. Dingman dated Rachel Uchitel before Elin?  The same Rachel Uchitel Tiger was cheating with behind the "Long Suffering" Ms. Nordegren's back? The same Uchitel that swindled Tiger out of a cool $10 million?  Then had to repay him all the money because she violated a confidentiality clause? Wow. My head is about to explode like little Tiger!

Long suffering?  You know what I say to that? I say, hey look, hun, tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my fuckin neck tie, but don't tell me aren't "whoring out for money" type just like Rachel Uchitel. 

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote: 

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft, where we are hard, cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand."  

Elin, don't tell us you're not giving it up because "you're not sure of his intentions".  I'm not sure about yours!  Why subject yourself to being Rachel's sloppy seconds again? You have $750 mill and no brain. Congratulations.  

And Tiger sucks at golf now, which kind of sucks for golf. I'm not advocating any of his actions in this post either, girls, before you get angry :)  But neither Elin nor Rachel can do this:

Happy 112th Ernie :)

I was introduced to Hemingway by the family dog.  True Story.  He was an Irish Setter named Ernie after Ernest Hemingway.  My parents got him off one of Norman Mailer's ex-wives who couldn't take care of him.  What a weird world, huh? 

The master of prose. Ernest Hemingway was the first author I really got into when I had to do book reports, etc in middle school. Most people [my age or younger] find him boring because of the style, but I think it's beauty in its simplest form.  He once said, "All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time."  Some people will never understand the passion of that statement, but that's their loss.  Hemingway also credits another one of my favorites, Mark Twain, the master of satire, as an influence, once saying, "All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn."  It's too bad he had a history or alcholism and suicide in his family, but he was prolific in his time with us.  Check out some his best quotes below.  (photos via aconverationoncool)

“Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated.” ~ The Old Man and The Sea.

Some additional favorites:

"About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after."

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

"Cowardice... is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend functioning of the imagination."

"Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another."

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." 

How to Be a Man

Silver Fox

Glenn O'Brien aka "The Style Guy" for GQ is a trip. He was an original member of Andy Warhol's "Factory", produced a movie starring Basquiat, hosted a public-access television show in New York called TV Party, which wikipedia writes, "featured such then underground figures as David Byrne, Klaus Nomi, August Darnell, Fab 5 Freddy, Jean-Michel Basquiat, John Fekner, Amos Poe, and bands like Blondie, The Clash, DNA, and The Fleshtones."

Wiki also says, "He also attempted a stint as a stand up comedian, was a contributing editor of Allure, Harper's Bazaar, and Creative Director of advertising at Barneys New York. For 10 years, he wrote a monthly column for ArtForum Magazine. He edited Madonna's Sex Book."

That is fantastic.

Add on another gem to the wiki page, because O'Brien released a book entitled "How to be a Man: A Guide to Style and Behavior for the Modern Gentlemen" that is hysterically informative.

Young & Controversial 

O'Brien breaks it into Five Categories; Manhood, Style, Behavior, Culture and Society, and Wisdom.  Each category has multiple subjects, ranging from 'Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow", "The Correct Insult",  and "How to communicate" to "Dealing with Doctors" and simple things like "Socks".  O'Brien's musings are legendary.  He's Brilliant, plain and simple.  He has an intrinsic ability to blend subjects like philosophy, fashion, sports, and art as a means to present logical arguments regarding society.

This book is perfect for the beach or short reading sessions.  Give it a look. You'll read paragraphs like this one [regarding style]:

Style is about setting yourself apart, being unique and authentic, being what the stylish Sam and Sham called "in with the out crowd". That professional paragon of style Noel Coward said, "I have never felt the necessity of being with it.  I'm all for staying in my place.' Your place is your own being. Baseball hitters talk about "staying within themselves." Having style is staying within yourself. It's about the way you work. To riff on the hitter's metaphor, it's about "working the count," how you deal with what's thrown at you. 

Style is different. If we hear something from a sax or see something made by a pencil and recognize it as new, that's style. Wyndham Lewis said, "The best artist is the imperfect artist." The perfect artist is finished. He's done. He has found it; he's not looking for it.  The genuine stylist is too caught up in developing and applying his modus operandi to the job to rest.  

Style can be how you draw, how you play the cello, how your write, or how you dance, but it also be how you speak and how you tie your tie. Style isn't taste. As Lewis said, "Taste is dead emotion, or a mentally treated and preserved emotion." Style is spontaneous emotion, you feel your way through the world. You dig for it, you find it, and you put it out in the world.

I guess it's what Smokey Robinson called, "the way you do the things you do."

There's a reason they call him, "Style Guy".

Of course, you could just watch this repeatedly:

Page Side Rage Side

Page McConnell is the piano/organ/keys for Phish. He's been the all-star in the band for the last two tours. I stumbled upon his thesis from Goddard School of Music. The whole thing is here, but this is an excerpt that makes one say, "Fuck Yeah!"

"Within weeks I began having musical experiences and feelings that I had never had before. The feelings could either be described as detaching myself from the conscious process of playing the piano, or totally attaching myself, becoming one with the instrument. I became able to hear music in my head and simultaneously be playing it. The breakthrough was a result of my ear training, the attitude I had
developed in Imagination, Awareness and Ideas, and the discipline of practicing every day. The process I am describing is similar to a process described in Eugen Herrigel's Zen in the Art of Archery when he tells of a swordsman that is learning to master his art:

'The pupil must develop a new sense or, more accurately, a new

alertness of all his senses, which will enable him to avoid

dangerous thrusts as though he could feel them coming. Once he 

has mastered this art of evasion, he no longer needs to watch

undivided attention the movements of his opponents, or even of

several opponents at once. Rather, he sees and feels what is going

to happen, and at the sane moment he has already avoided its effect

without there being "A hair's breadth" between perceiving and

avoiding. This, then, is what counts: a lightening reaction which

has no further need of conscious observation. In this respect at

least the pupil makes himself independent of all conscious purpose,

and this is a great gain.'

This book has proven to be the most valuable piece of literature I have ever read in terms of helping me gain an understanding of discipline and helping me define myself as an artist."

This is phish's cover of Led Zeppelin's "No Quarter".  It doesn't show McConnel's technical prowess, but rather his creativity covering this song by plugging his vocals through his Fender Rhodes to rip it. The video also gives you a good sense of what it's like being at a show.

Sports, Pride, and Life

When asked what he would do if he won the British Open, Northern Ireland's Darren Clarke responded frankly, "I won't be sober for a month!"

How Can You Root Against this Guy?

Stock the bar.

The 42 year-old Clarke, lover of fine wine, cigars and fast cars, had a mantra going into the week; "Don't let your golf game determine your attitude, let your attitude determine your golf game."

Sounds easy, but to someone who lost his wife five years ago to cancer and last contended in a major a decade ago, Clarke wasn't just contending with the wind and rain at Royal St. George's Golf Links.  Clarke was teaching us perseverance.

He held the lead after the first two rounds.  But for someone with so much on the line, Clarke never stopped smiling, joking, and interacting with the crowd, even silencing their cheers so that his playing partners could play their shots in silence. Darren Clarke was teaching us how to win with class.

"Bad times in golf are more frequent than the good times," he said. "I've always been pretty hard on myself when I fail because I don't find it very easy to accept that. And there's times I've been completely and utterly fed up with the game."

The advice from friends & family were always the same.

"Get out there and practice and keep going, keep going, keep going," Clarke said. "And that's why I'm sitting here now."

So how will the British Open victory change Darren Clarke? It won't.  

"I'm a bit of a normal bloke, aren't I?" Clarke said.  "I like to go to the pub and have a pint, fly home, buy everybody a drink, just normal. There's not many airs and graces about me. I was a little bit more difficult to deal with in my earlier years, and I've mellowed some. Just a little bit. But I'm just a normal guy playing golf, having a bit of fun."

I think his "fun" might've determined his fate.

The Thrill of Victory is always balanced by the Agony of Defeat 

"Don't give up. Don't ever, ever give up."

-Jim Valvano, NC State Championship Basketball Coach and founder of Jimmy V. Cancer Foundation

The USA Women's World Cup team had given it's fans the ultimate script.  Fight tooth and nail, scratch and claw, see your future, be your future.  They won in dominating fashion early in the tournament, and fought their way into the finals with one of the most inspiring victories over Brazil [and the officials] playing a woman-down for over 45 minutes, yet finding a way to get to penalty kicks and beat 'Goliath'.

Choke Solo

You don't win titles in semi-finals.

The USA dominated the first half in yesterday's final.  They could've been up 3-4 goals in the first 20 minutes of play, but they forced the issue.  They were bigger, faster, and stronger than Japan, but instead of exercising patience and utilizing their advantageous skill sets, they were sloppy.  Physically, they overwhelmed the Japanese. 

Don't underestimate pride. 

Japan was focused, tenacious, and determined. Homare Sawa, Japan's captain and the leading goal-scorer, said, "I want to inspire courage in our country with our play."  

For a country coming off some horrific natural disasters, those are fighting words. And Japan fought hard. Coming back TWICE, once in regulation and again in extra time. The USA had a chance to put away an opponent early and they didn't do it.  In sports, if you let the underdog hang around, you give them the confidence needed for an upset. 

If Sunday showed us anything, it's that obstacles are always there, people are always speculating and criticizing, and the only thing you can control is your attitude, determination, and tenacity. 

How far do you want to go?  

So Money

I like money. I like golf. I like taking people's money playing golf. Someone get me this country club money clip. It reeks of the waspyness I've come to expect from Brooks Brothers. Well done fellas. 

Official Leisure Radio

After posting my thoughts on music and telling you how important it is to a well balanced life, I figured I had to prove it to you.  I'm a Pandora freak. Love it. Swear by it. Have it on at home, in the car, headphones, etc. I'm dabbling with a new app called DubSet, which I will have a full review on later in the coming week or so, but I have a gift for you on a Monday!

I have a few stations on Pandora, but the one I work the longest on is "Fitz FM". Spanning over 6 decades of Rock, Hip Hop, Motown, Pop, Soul, R&B, Jazz, etc. (No country. Sorry, going to have to cry somewhere else.)

It's my daily interaction with Pandora.  I'm always giving it feedback, so it's a combination of all the music I listen to fueled by ADHD. Put it on wherever.  It's appropriate for all occasions. Hope you enjoy it.


Click here to listen to Fitz FM

Music in my day...

I woke up to a massive thunderstorm this morning. Haven't seen/felt one like it in a while. It gave me some time to catch up on my music. I threw up a link on twitter to some great stuff: click here.


So in the midst of downloading, listening, organizing, reorganizing playlists, and syncing the iPhone 4 more times than was necessary, I started thinking.  Yeah, scary thought, I know.


At what point do you become the person you feared, i.e. the aging-hipster who constantly says, "music today sucks!" or "why the hell is this shit popular, there's no talent?!" etc?  I listen to some new stuff, but not too much.  Actually, it's just new albums by artists I discovered years ago (strokes, interpol, tv on the radio).  But instead of claiming there isn't anything out there, I had a new theory on musical taste in relation to one's age.


At some point we get lazy. Some people just don't care and listen to terrestrial radio and are content in their adult-contemporary saturated lives. I could write endless blogs on how I can't fathom people who don't love music. I feel like everything has a soundtrack. Anyways, we get content in our taste at some point between the late teens and mid-twenties and instead of discovering newer artists, we start to look back and listen to the acts that influenced the artist we originally enjoyed.

'You don't know me, but I'm your
braaaathaaaaaa'

So, inevitably, we get to a point where we just dismiss new music because we don't have time to get into it.  It's easier to just claim it's terrible.


It definitely doesn't have anything to do with the fact that everything today is overly-produced, can't be performed live, has no melodic qualities, is done on a computer, is decided by suits looking for the next american idol, and has a budget dumped into marketing more than anything else.


Nah, that can't be it. I'm just getting old.

Italy: All I Wanna know is, "Who's coming with me?"

It's hot as hell right now in the Northeast. Miami-humid, even. This picture isn't cooling anything down either.  God, these women are sexy.  Dark, Curvy, juxtaposing the American ideology that skinny blonds are all the rage. Proof that you can eat Italian and still look fantastic :) For now, this is a feast for the eyes:

Post 4th of July Thoughts

I tend bar. I observe human behavior nightly. Why is it that on long weekends, i.e. the 4th and Labor Day, when everyone collectively gets vacation, they're collectively pissed? Everyone gets four, sometimes five, days off and they spend it as a miserable prick. News flash, asshole, you're not the only one out of the office this week.  You'd think for people that are used to being in cubicles and waiting in lines, they'd be used to it and try to utilize some patience. Hell no!  These fuckin bastards have a nightly pissing contests to see who is the most important person (P.s. no one comes out victorious).

So here's a hint to enjoying your next vacation time. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself you're not at work. Forget that your boss demoralizes the shit out of you and don't take it out on someone else.

Oh! and another thing:  Plan. Better.  The most miserable people are the ones who can't admit they made a mistake and adjust on the fly.  You get out what you put in.

Glad I could school you a day late. Don't look now but you're boss is behind you!

Happy 4th of July Weekend, Lay off the Hard Shit

Salvia, Huh? Looks like a good time....Holy Shit!  I wonder if this guy had Lionel Richie's Dancing on the Ceiling in his head during the trip?

If the Shoe Fits...

The 13th Duke of Bedford wrote a 20th-Century Update of Thackery's Book of Snobs, which noted the significance of the shoe thus:

"A head waiter once told me: 'I can always tell people by their shoes.  People who are only trying to show off and impress you always wear fabulous clothes but are not prepared to spend a lot on their shoes.'"

That's why you got to march to the beat of your own drummer.  The Ronnie Fieg Gel Lyte III Coves. My perfect summer shoe! More explosive than 4th of July Fireworks.

Have a great 4th. And check back here over your vacation or follow me on Twitter for Leisurely Updates. To all my Phriends at Watkins Glenn this weekend for Super Ball IX, ((vibes)). Rage it for me.  In honor of the 4th, "Hit My Music"!