Football Friday: New World Order

Last Week: W (Texans -6.5)
Season: 4-3-1

As the weeks progress, odds makers become sharper. Typically, after week 6 or 7, the wise guys show their true colors and start impacting lines as early as a Wednesday. There hasn't been much movement this week. The Patriots versus Rams in London is interesting (Pats -7) because there is no true "home-field advantage", but the travel/time could affect the teams and the Patriots' defense doesn't look like it can hold a 7-point lead. 

The only other QB I'd put my money behind this week (and it sickens me) is Eli Manning. The Giants are 2-point favorites, on the road, in Dallas. Looking at the stats against the spread [ATS], things look pretty pedestrian.

But Dallas, at home, with similar stats, isn't getting the obligatory three points? 

This line is BEGGING people to put their money on Romo & Co! Well I'm not taking the bait. No Demarco Murray in the backfield and no Sean Lee or DeMarcus Ware for Dallas?! 

Giants -2

Woo! 4-3-1 Baby.

Way to back me up, Texans: 43-13 on a 6.5-point line? I'm back on the good foot! 

Football Friday: Separation Sunday

Last Week: 2-0
Season: 3-3-1

That great Ric Flair once said, "Woo! I'm Back..."

That's how I feel after last Sunday and Monday nights. Sure I played two games, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Rodgers and Manning got me feeling like a phoenix, rising from those early-season ashes. Let's keep it rolling. 

The weirdest line of the week is the Saints (-2.5) giving points, on the road, to their division-rival [Bucs]. I love the Bucs in that game, but wouldn't put my money near it because of the scandalous line. The Saints defense is atrocious, but the Bucs secondary is equally bad (31st in the league). 

Trust me as a Patriots fan: watching a shitty secondary squander your offense's (i.e. stellar quarterbacking) effort sucks. Never mind putting your money behind it. 

Using what I've learned the past seven weeks, I had to find a good quarterback and defense with a favorable line/situation. Ravens @ Texans (-6.5). Matt Schaub, the two-headed backfield of Foster and Tate, and a formidable defense (even without MLB Brian Cushing) at home are a solid play. 

Add to the aforementioned that the vaunted Ravens defense is in shambles without Ray Lewis, [CB] Ladarius Webb, and a banged-up Haloti Ngata, there are holes in every layer of that defense. The Texans have the talent to exploit all of them in front of their home crowd. 

And most importantly:

Look at the team's record Against the Spread (ATS). Good luck this week!

Gotcha Bitches!

Down 24 points?

Largest Comeback in Monday Night Football History

Largest Comeback in Peyton Manning's History.

Another Festivus Miracle for Fitzy! .500 Bitches!

One Down, One to Go!

Football Friday: Two Dog Night

Last Week: L Dolphins @ Bengals (-3)
Season: 1-3-1

If you're reading this post, you must have been betting against me, thrusting yourself into a cash windfall, because I suck this year. 

I recognize my mistakes though; I've been backing sub-par quarterbacks on close lines. It always keeps things close until the end of the games, but it's also a great way to induce a heart attack and lose money.

Samson, I'm sorry.....

So the only logical thing to do to try and get some of this money back is to put it behind great quarterbacks. Luckily for us there are two that are underdogs this week! 

The Best Advice

Think about it. Seriously. Were you thrust into the cycle by your parents and, if so, will you continue it? 

The Reflection

He sat down at one of the tables facing East 41 Street, popped the lid off his coffee, and lit a cigarette. 

"Ain't life fuckin' grand," he thought, his face briefly lit up in an orange reflection behind his hand, then emerging behind a thick plume of rich tobacco smoke. He stared beyond the sea of suits and dresses, topcoats and tote-bags, the incessant click-clacking of expensively cobbled footwear. He flicked some ash onto the sidewalk, watching the gray snowflakes disintegrate into the morning commute hustling by him. 

He knew he shouldn't have come down here, and now it was being thrown in his face. He had helped move her into her new apartment, gone out of his way to make her comfortable, tried to quell some of the nervous excitement that comes with a new start, but why?

"God, I'm a such a fuckin' moron," he said to himself. "You should've let it go naturally. Just ended it when she got the job instead of trying to manipulate everything and make it perfect. You both knew it wasn't going to work. Now you're sitting on a cast-iron chair thinking about the eight-hour trek back home while she gets ready for the first day of her new life. Nice job, asshole."

The long, sustained blast of a trumpet from the cafe speakers grabbed his attention. A slow, deliberate note, which gave way to the piano, bass, and accompanying horn section in a playful exchange. He knew the song: The Stolen Moment by Eddie 'Lockjaw' Davis. He had first heard it freshman year of college. Musicology 124: The Evolution of Jazz, the easiest class of that semester. Probably the most beneficial too, since it helped him bed numerous co-eds along with a well-timed joint concluding the night's debaucheries. He thought about some of those girls. Women now; some with a husband, kids, responsibility. 

He stood up and stomped on the soggy filter, rubbing it into the sidewalk; the last disgusting reminisce of his latest failure. He checked his watch and headed Northeast towards Grand Central. 

Football Friday: Butter Me Up

Last Week: W Bengals (-2.5) over Jags

Season: 1-2-1

Miami Dolphins @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3):

I have to back Big Red (Andy Dalton) yet again because I know where my bread's been buttered the last couple weeks: betting against Miami and supporting the Bengals! 

Turn it off. It's burning my retina.

The Bengals are getting the obligatory, home-field, three-point advantage and will win this game for the exact same reasons they beat Jacksonville (see previous post). Add that to the fact that Miami won't get a herculean game like last week from WR Brian Hartline (he set the record for "points scored by a white receiver" in one of my fantasy leagues with 64+ points against Arizona's secondary), they've only beaten the Raiders, and they're 0-2 on the road. 

Time to get back to .500