Everything that's Wrong with Sports

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Miami Heat Fans!

I just want to set the record straight.  When it comes to sports, Florida doesn't deserve professionals.  High School & College level sports are phenomenal there, as a lot of football, basketball, and baseball talent comes from South Florida specifically.  But pro teams?  No Way. 

There is a lot of cool stuff to do in Florida.  Beaches, Restaurants, Clubs, Drugs, etc.  so attending sporting events, and actually knowing stuff about the respective sport or team isn't a prerequisite for being a pro sports fan in Florida.  Just get access to the best seats you can, show up fashionably late, and spend the entire game on your cell phone.  It helps if you accentuate your douchery with items such as purple moon boots and sunglasses...inside...at night. 

That's why it's great that a completely ignorant asshole like LeBron James "Took his talents to South Beach".  Perfect place for him. He has never won anything besides individual accolades, yet legitimately thinks he's the greatest thing to touch a basketball.  Watch him play for five minutes or listen to him in a post-game press conference and you can tell he has no concept about his reputation outside his entourage.  He's never made a mistake. I mean once he thought he did, but he was wrong.

It reminds of Andre Agassi's ad campaign for Cannon, which read "Image is Everything."

So for cities like Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis, and most notably, Cleveland, that have insane commitment to their teams through all their futility, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that a self-proclaimed legend is representing a city that doesn't even know, nor care, about the sport it's watching.  They only care about who's watching them.