Hope you didn't put the mortgage on Buffalo

I didn't start CJ Spiller either, despite picking Buffalo, and he went off for 38 points in my league. The good news? Fred Jackson can't walk anymore so CJ's the #1 back! Woo. Hit the music:

Football Friday!

*Betting on Sports is illegal throughout most of the United States and should be practiced legally in places with proper licenses*

I've done football previews in the past, maybe some of you have read them, but with the abundance of websites out there giving you their expertise, I've decided to put my money where my mouth is (again). 

Every Friday, for the rest of the season, I will provide ONE pick, against the spread, that is the best on the board. I say it every season: Anyone can pick a winner, but a winner can pick against the spread. I was 8-3 [ATS] in the playoffs last year (look it up on here). 

Friday gives you time to jump on the line if you like it, or do your own research, think about it, and see if it the line shifts in your favor before the game. 

Week 1:

Buffalo (+3) @ NY Jets

Buffalo wins the game outright, on the road, while possibly injuring The Sanchize, simultaneously setting off Tebow-mania and ESPN creating their new channel, The Ocho, featuring weekly physical challenges between Sal Palantonio, Shelley Smith, and Ed Werder* to see who covers Tebow for the week, starting with his morning piss. 

*I got Shelly Smith beasting Sal Pal & E-Dub, especially when she gets back up to her playing weight. Plus she's got more sexual flame burning in her than Fireman Ed. Couple that with her physique and Tebow is gator-bait.

Why I Hate Politics

I was reading an article on Mitt Robot’s running mate, Paul Ryan, and a particular paragraph struck me:

Ryan consults with a stable of conservative economists and scholars, including John Taylor, a Stanford University economist who has had posts in three GOP administrations. He has long praised the works of Ayn Rand, the Russian-born writer who strenuously championed an unfettered capitalism hinged to individual rights and responsibility, but in recent days has distanced himself from her, citing her atheism. -via the associated press' Paul Ryan's ideas nurtured by top conservatives by Alan Fram 

Seriously? This is what’s so fucked with politics. You can’t endorse a literary genius because you might lose some conservative (mainly christian) voters?! How about upholding the constitutional separation between church and state? Remember that part? It’s written in the FIRST AMENDMENT!!!

The Bill of Rights, Constitution, and other written documents were constructed by our forefathers (not your fathers, GOP) to create a, everyone say it together: Democracy! That means acknowledging the progress we’ve made through Supreme Court decisions (i.e. Rowe vs. Wade) made by a panel of presidentially-appointed judges, some who've tried decades of important trials.

Maybe you should’ve spent more time paying attention in elementary school history class and less time looking at the sky. And if there is a God who rules supreme, he doesn’t wear dad jeans, hide tax returns, and avoid alcohol & caffeine.

The Lump Above Your Ass

I’m Fitzy, I’m a bartender, and I hate August.

Working on Cape Cod, the middle two weeks of August are a nightmare. It’s like everybody realized Summer is ending and they have unfinished business, if only everyone else would get out of their way so they could hurry up! (Manhattanites are particially to blame for this, as the finance sector takes their vacation during this time and expects the surrounding world to realize this and conspire to their every demand. On behalf of the rest of us, Go Fuck Yourselves.)

Besides priding myself on professionalism, I get to do quite a bit of people-watching  during the Summer and I’ve figured out a way for everyone to improve their experience (and life).

PLAN BETTER!

Or as Jimmy Dugan would say, “Use your head! That’s the lump three feet above your ass!”

It boggles my mind how pissed off people get when their frustration could be avoided by taking a few minutes to think about the situation before engagaing. One way to do that is to conciously be in the moment, be observant, and make sound decisions based on the aforementioned.

You have no one to blame but yourself if you’re so concerned with the speed of something that you ignore the obvious. While technology has made things more accessible at a faster rate, it doesn’t translate to people making the same progress with their brains. It results in lazier people making worse decisions at a faster rate.

Stop staring into the cell phone or GPS, be aware of your surroundings, and use that lump three feet above your ass.