Never Get Fired!

Instead of…./ Say This…..
You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing= I think you could use more training
She’s a ball busting bitch                                  =    She’s an aggressive go-getter.
When the fuck do you expect me to do this?         =Perhaps I can work late.
No fucking way                                                    = I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
You got to be shitting me!                                 = Really?
Tell someone who gives a shit                = Perhaps you should check with…
It’s not my fucking problem                              = I wasn’t involved in the project.
What the fuck?                                                 = That’s interesting.
The shit won’t work                           = I’m not sure this can be implemented.
Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner          = I’ll try to schedule that.
He’s got his head up his ass                       = He’s not familiar with the issues.
Eat shit and die                                               = Excuse me, sir?
Kiss my ass                                                    = So you weren’t happy with it?
Fuck it, I’m on salary                                   = I’m a bit overloaded at the moment
Shove it up your ass                                         = I don’t think you understand
This job sucks                                                    = I love a challenge
Who the fuck died and made you boss?       = You want me to take care of that?
He’s a prick                                                      = He’s somewhat insensitive.

It's not what you say, but how you say it!